Most truthfully, I'm only supposed to reflect on one moment in my day, but three moments mattered to me on a Friday. I engaged in three major social situations and responded quite differently in each one. Okay, four -- but three matter most to me.
First, I spent some hours with a friend of mine. We spent an hour in Lenoir eating and talking, but mostly talking. We didn't talk about school; we talked about ourselves or things that mattered to us, but not really. We discussed M. Night Shyamalan, the struggle of the dark forces and avenues, the wonders of enlightenment, and the fallacy of diversity. We discovered we're different. He and I are different, but together we are the same.
The hours with him left me a little restless, and similarly, settled. The whole time I longed to touch him, some part of him... all of him. My skin yearned for contact, and my mind protested vehemently against such desires. At a moment our arms were resting on the same table; so close were we that I could feel the heat of his body radiating onto mine. Once I thought that I could even feel the tickle of his arm-hairs. I wanted. I moved away.
The day continued with him like that. We shared a seemingly comfortable silence, but my mind was in turmoil with the amount I wanted to touch him for. And similarly, with the need for him to touch me. The most glorious part of being with him is... not yet.
I tried to break the spell that confined us to talking in theory, in analyzing. In considering. In plotting. I talked girl. It was stupid. He didn't get it. I stopped.
Just once, I want him to let me hug him, truly. And then, for him to hug me back like his life depends on it. Just once.
With him, the characters die. I'm me... Even if just for a moment.
~Kat
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